Okay I really am finding that I have a love for the Seattle area, but do I get to rant on here a little (about something totally unrelated to the Pac NorthWest at that)? Because I am really getting sentimental right now over Texas and where I was last year at this time. Being sentimental is prolly (don't you love "prolly") worse than indulging a rant, but ah what can you do .... it's that god damn Cancer Asecendant in my astrology who is to blame.
There is just so damn much to be said for "wide open spaces" and people who are not afraid of having big emotions and not just big hair.
I am still searching for a place where I can regain the spiritual strength and camaraderie I had as a Mormon youth, but Dallas was where I at least felt the ghosts that remain from that period of my life.
And now I am wanting to go back. Spending a good 20-plus hours in jail last month forced me to get back in touch with my pretty little heart chakra. Suddenly nothing was more important than letting those I cared for know that I loved them--as long as they knew that, I knew everything was okay.
It was last year at this time that I was moving to Texas for the first time in my life, and (though its cliche' to put it this way) "everything seemed possible." Little did I know there was porn in my future lol ... I was working on my music and vids at that point, and Sugarland was hanging out on the car CD player. ("How long til our dreams run dry?" F*ck yeah!)
Coming from Orange County made it frighteningly easy to adjust to Dallas, and I was surprised at all of the similarities. My boyfriend reminds me that I didn't like the fact that it was markedly colder than the OC, and though I agree, giving up my California sun and the refuge of Upper Newport Bay also added to the sense of making a "sacrifice" in the blessed name of my "art!" (God, I am so full of myself ... please hit me?)
So--to sum this all up--I kinda think I could go back to Dallas. I just needed to confess that (along with explaining the reason Sugarland is my song on my MySpace). There is really nothing like Texas, alright? I said it. (And I really hate namedropping as much as the next guy, but I do believe that Blake Riley would understand how I feel, okay?)
The kicker is this question: Is feeling attracted to life in Texas a good thing or a bad thing (taking into account my hard-core Mormon upbringing) ? ? ?
There is just so damn much to be said for "wide open spaces" and people who are not afraid of having big emotions and not just big hair.
I am still searching for a place where I can regain the spiritual strength and camaraderie I had as a Mormon youth, but Dallas was where I at least felt the ghosts that remain from that period of my life.
And now I am wanting to go back. Spending a good 20-plus hours in jail last month forced me to get back in touch with my pretty little heart chakra. Suddenly nothing was more important than letting those I cared for know that I loved them--as long as they knew that, I knew everything was okay.
It was last year at this time that I was moving to Texas for the first time in my life, and (though its cliche' to put it this way) "everything seemed possible." Little did I know there was porn in my future lol ... I was working on my music and vids at that point, and Sugarland was hanging out on the car CD player. ("How long til our dreams run dry?" F*ck yeah!)
Coming from Orange County made it frighteningly easy to adjust to Dallas, and I was surprised at all of the similarities. My boyfriend reminds me that I didn't like the fact that it was markedly colder than the OC, and though I agree, giving up my California sun and the refuge of Upper Newport Bay also added to the sense of making a "sacrifice" in the blessed name of my "art!" (God, I am so full of myself ... please hit me?)
So--to sum this all up--I kinda think I could go back to Dallas. I just needed to confess that (along with explaining the reason Sugarland is my song on my MySpace). There is really nothing like Texas, alright? I said it. (And I really hate namedropping as much as the next guy, but I do believe that Blake Riley would understand how I feel, okay?)
The kicker is this question: Is feeling attracted to life in Texas a good thing or a bad thing (taking into account my hard-core Mormon upbringing) ? ? ?
4 comments:
Brodie:
I'd be hard-pressed to move out of my native California. The more I travel, the more I find myself assured I'll always live somewhere in the state. I'm much more acclimated to the weather (non-weather?) of Southern California.
I don't think feeling attracted to life in Texas is a good or bad thing. Just eccentric. ;o)
And look at you, just inserting "jail" into everything and moving right along, heh.
Hi Tom,
Thanks for the kind words, man -- isn't it always good to face one's fears? So the jail thing might have been a blessing in disguise?
About the Dallas thing:
Just meant that I sometimes wonder if I only like "Texasland" because it's so much like conservative Mormon Utah.
And a kid like me who needs to work through (and transmute) a repressive and toxic environment might be more able to do that by staying away from places which are only comfortable because they are "familiar!"
One thing is for sure: California is definitely NOT Texas or Utah. I can definitely relate to what you said--and somehow I always end up back in Cali. And I just learned this week that Instigator Magazine comes from Long Beach where I did my grad work! Ever looked at Instigator?
I haven't seen Instigator before, no, but I see you just posted about it. I'll have to take a look-see when I'm back from my weekend trip to Washington, DC.
Hope you had a happy National Coming Out Day. (I'm out to everybody already, so my work's been done, heh.)
Sorry about the delay, Tom--hope you had a great weeekend. Speaking of Coming Out Day: I think I am gonna have to come out of my "metaphysical closet" soon. Have had some very cool experiences here (Puget Sound area and its parks/trails) that I really want to share! Brodie
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